It took quite some time to find the ability within myself to become still, never mind the power you can achieve through it. In hindsight, I realize I just wasn’t willing to allow myself this gift. Subconsciously, I was establishing blocks of “urgent” scenarios as to why I couldn’t make the time. After all; I would say, I am a very busy woman. I work full-time, I have chores, my kids, my husband, my life, and the list went on and on. Besides; “even if I take the time, I can’t shut off my brain.” Ultimately it is what most of us are taught, place ourselves last by deflecting, self-distraction, and emotional projecting. Does any of this sound familiar?
Yet, no matter how many times I justified to myself, the “busy lifestyle” I continually received messages from my guides. They took it a step further; they began to place this message directly into my heart. I would feel this overwhelming NEED to sit in a quiet space. Let me tell you if Universe wants our attention Universe can be extremely persuasive. I had this urge to be outside; it is virtually indescribable the yearning I felt and still feel to this day. It is this gravitational pull to be in the fresh air. Sometimes the pull is to listen to music or as simple as lighting a candle in my space. It is magnetic in nature, to say the least. Slowly, I began to develop the ability to be still. It took time and it was no easy accomplishment, I assure you.
The first time I meandered outside and planted myself beneath a tall Maple tree. I glanced around finding it “boring” (I never said I haven’t been a bit of a brat on this journey.) I was quickly tempted to pull out my phone, to “just peek” at Facebook. What’s the harm, right? I woke my phone from its sleep mode, but something odd happened. My phone just “shut off.” The screen went blank. I pouted trying to revive it but, alas nothing happened. Fine, so I put the phone down deciding to pray. I closed my eyes, and began my prayer; I immediately received a message from Divine. “Dear One, be still. Allow the energies of Mother Earth fill you.” I blushed at the message and from that point on I was clear on one thing. We certainly cannot fake out the universe.
I honestly struggled with the “just be” aspect of the stillness. My ego mind created lots of distractions and delays in the profound clarity of stillness. The ego often distracted me with grocery lists, errand lists, song titles, conversations I had when I was ten. Nonsense really and all the while the ego is whispering to me “you should be doing more important things.” I became rather frustrated with this Ego voice. I never really focused on how it was driving and influencing me. It was running in the background as underlying static. The more I recognized my ego, the more I became clear on how my emotions, my reactions, and my inactions were all causing me to starve my very essence. I wish I could sit here and say “I overcame the mighty ego by banishing it with my sword of truth!” Well, maybe I don’t actually wish I could say that because that sounds a tad dramatic. However; I do wish I could say that it was as simple as making a wish. If I had the ego all figured out in the early days of this journey, it would have saved me a lot of time. However; that said, I am very certain that my experiences learning to subdue the ego wouldn’t have been as eye-opening. It will take the time to tame the lion we call our ego. The challenge in this is to understand the root of our ego, understanding WHAT the ego is, and then having the clear mind to discern when it is our ego’s response. I promise you, once you begin to see how the ego sneaks in and how it absolutely represents the “the false idea of protection” it becomes easier to wrangle that lion. We can’t fully dissolve our egos, they do hold a purpose, but we must ideally balance them. That is a feat worth achieving, believe me.
The first time I was really able to sink into a comfortable zone of peace with my stillness it was a bit surreal. I actually achieved one of my first journey meditations. It lasted all of three minutes at best but in those three minutes a profound sense of magic, awe, and respect for the powerful sensations came over me. I felt this sense of grandeur within my entire being. Physically, it was as if I left my being and just floated above the world, soaring as a hawk over the majestic wilderness. I have since held many meditations but, none quite like that one. That was the most empowering three minutes of my path in stillness, thus far. I will never forget the journey, the ability to BE ONE with the space of nature, to BE the hawk, to SEE the beauty and power of nature and feel this powerful sense of calm and LOVE. I felt the love that the hawk held for its world. I could hear and feel it all. When my eyes popped open I was deeply disappointed to find myself sitting in the grass. I wanted to stay in that space of peace and love.
What I have come to know so profoundly in this journey of stillness.
- It doesn’t matter if we meditate 3 minutes or 3 hours. All is a benefit of our personal course in this life.
- It doesn’t matter if we just find a quiet space and just breathe through our heart space for the entire time.
- It doesn’t matter how we get there, it only matters that we DO get there.
- If we are still merely focusing on what is surrounding us in nature, or studying the dance of a flickering candle, or focus on the soft notes of a peaceful song, as long as we shut off the static. Draw in the peace of our spirit.
Our spirit (our soul) will always take good care of us. It is NEVER our ego that has our best interest, it will always be our spirit and in order to truly connect to our soul our essence we must learn to turn off the static, the voice that tells us we don’t have time, we can’t, we aren’t good enough.
I hope you find time to make this peace. I hope that you step into your own sovereignty of the joy you can create from unplugging and going within. I enjoy my own company. I decided I was going to BE and I walked through the door. Might have been a challenge but it was one that was well worth it. The power of the stillness will change your world this I promise. Don’t give up on you. Fight hard and win the battle of ego distractions. You will grow and nurture yourself immensely.