I was at the crossroads of my life 9 years ago. Facing a huge hit of my emotional body, and I realized that no matter how hard I tried to have faith, I was coming apart. My lowest emotional point that I have ever experienced in my adult life I knew something had to give. No matter how brave of a face I put on my spirit was completely depleted. I was empty, lost, simply drained. My first steps in this amazing awakened state took place one morning and I didn’t have any idea how this was about to change my life.
During my daily routine, I began to just bubble up with all of the pent up emotion I had been holding back for years, over a difficult situation. I guess it was my breaking point. I was at the bottom of the barrel and could only see the deep walls that surrounded me. I began to cry. I felt a surge of emotion just pour out of me like water out of a pitcher. I sobbed and thought for a moment that I may not be able to stop. I stood in the shower and just cried out to God. I hadn’t asked for His help, not like this, not ever before. Most of my prayers (when I was actually praying) were of thanks and gratitude, but I was so limited on how often I did it. I didn’t care at that moment I needed Him. I needed something to show me…guide me…let me, at least, find a moment of peace.
When I was done, I stepped from the shower, pulled myself together and went about my day. I gathered my youngest up to take to preschool. On the drive there I rubbed a cross on a necklace I was wearing across my parched lips. I whispered, softly. Have faith, have faith, have faith. Over and over again, tears welling in my eyes. I drove along and without any warning, I heard “Live in faith Child, LIVE in faith.” I was startled by the voice. It wasn’t mine, and yet it came from inside of me. It was as clear as if a person was seated beside me in the passenger seat. I felt a rush of warmth wash over me. I didn’t know what it meant, but I knew it was God.
I am deeply rooted in my journey. Nine years ago, I heard God’s voice for the first time. I never in my whole life ever thought it was possible to HEAR God, and yet; plain as day, He had spoken to me. He heard my cries for help and He showed up. For months after that day, God came to me over and over. He came to me in the clients I was meeting, in a letter, I had received, even the woman that purchased my house when the market crashed. He kept showing up and I was grateful for the reinforcements of His presence. I did some great work during that time, but the real work didn’t start until I moved to New England just a year after I heard Him.
As a spiritual practitioner, I have learned a great deal of what is important on this walk. I have put in place standards that I am unwilling to compromise on. I have a purpose here and I take it with very serious heart. As a spiritual practitioner, I am meeting people that are coming to me for life guidance, support, and acting as their sounding board. I have an obligation, to be honest with them and to myself. In order for me to help them, I need to be authentic within my own journey. When you work as a spiritual practitioner you have options just as your clients do. I had to learn, to go within and do my own inner work. I had to understand, shift and adjust my journey to be it’s most authentic and organic.
Teaching, healing, and offering guidance are not for the faint of heart. With the world of spirit, there are so many boundaries and unknowns that you need to navigate so that you can address and handle whatever comes. I went through what I refer to as, my “spiritual boot camp.” It was designed to teach me my fears and help me to maneuver through the untruths that I was taught and unknowingly created.
What have I learned?
- That in order to heal and help people I need to start from within.
- That checking my ego at the door and learning to balance it is imperative to this work.
- That I must review and set my boundaries daily.
- That nothing is a coincidence and trusting myself above all is imperative in what I teach.
- Confidence and inner clearing work are essential.
- I am the teacher, I can only lead them to the door. It is up to them to walk through it.
- That their journey is their journey, I am merely a guide and compassionate support should they struggle or fall short.
- That even if I am tired and not in the mood to deal with something I have the allowance of boundaries and can address things when I am ready.
- Grounding and meditation are essential in my work.
As I said this work is not for the faint of heart. It requires patience, compassion, personal strength and deep-rooted understanding of unconditional love. I can appreciate that the ego conscious mind creates the reality they are stuck in because I was there once too.
Where am I now in all of this?
- I carry nothing but inner peace and clarity.
- I have found true joy in living and with that I evoke the natural order of more joy by helping others, find their inner peace.
- I have balanced my ego and that inner voice that loved to see me in fear and doubt.
- I took a leap of faith and with that came my fearless work.
- I get to see my work unfold before me within my clients.
- I am blessed daily with helping people just like me, on this amazing but HARD path.
- I get to witness Divine in all of its glory rippling from one soul to another.
- I am able to bridge the spirit world with our world in hopes to bring many clarity, healing, and relief.
- I take time every day to thank God, for these gifts and for the opportunity to really give back to this world.
- I witness the amazing light as it moves through each of us one by one.
I am thankful for all my lessons. Some have been most difficult and I have come to truly see, how I had created them within my own subconscious garden. We have to keep the weeds out of that garden for our subconscious carries blocks that change our physical, emotional and spiritual being.
Each of us is part of a bigger a plan and purpose. We are all divine spiritual beings, capable of amazing and magnificent opportunities. What we need to do is relearn our minds to allow us to BE the spirits; we were created to be. If you do the work, you will find a garden filled with efflorescence, tend to it with loving care and it will flourish!